Your real name

John Wayne Carlson II

Your location(ish)

California

Your marriage/family situation

Single, but that might be changing before too long.

Own website (if you have one!)

NA

The Interview:

You're a poster in a.a.f - do you actually own a Ferrari or are you just here for the insults?

Yes!

What do you do to scratch out a living?

I sell Ice Cream.

Who would play you in a movie?

I do my own work. Look for me on the Food Network, Travel Channel and even one appearance on Speed TV!

What is your favourite sport?

EPL Football (The real kind, not “American Football”)

Which team/player do you follow?

Team – Liverpool. Player – Djbril Cisse

What and where is your favourite Hotel

Westin Turnberry, Scotland.

What and where is your favourite restaurant or bar?

La Giostra, Firenze, Italia

Name a few of your favourite books?

Fiction - Decline and Fall, Evelyn Waugh Non Fiction – Laughing in the Hills, Bill Barich

Name a few of your favourite films?

Sunset Blvd, Duck Soup, Dr. Strangelove

What music do you listen to?

The Who, X, Dream Syndicate

Heaven is...?

A well struck 2 iron.

Hell is...?

Cleveland

Name four people (dead or alive) that you would like to invite to a dinner party.

Groucho Marx, Orson Wells, May-Elaine de Lencquesaing, my maternal grandfather.

If you had to get stranded in one place for the rest of your life (town, city, tropical island, whatever) where would it be?

The Ile St. Louis, Paris

Who would you take with you?

A trust fund girl.

If you there was one car or bike that you could drive just once, what would it be?

Mario Andretti’s 1969 Brawner-Hawk

What is your secret vice?

If I tell it’s not a secret…

What irritates you most about people?

That they lie.

Do you know what love is?

Yes, and I ain’t tellin’ what it is!

Is the glass half full, or half empty?

Half full

What's in the glass?

Chateau Pichon Comtesse Lalande 1982

What's the one thing you never leave home without?

My pants.

and finally, complete the following sentence:
"Arguing in newsgroups is like..."

curfew, it keeps dangerous people off the streets.