Your real name

Mark J. Frusciante

Your location(ish)

New York, USA.

Your marriage/family situation

...Still interviewing.

Own website (if you have one!)

www.pipeline.com/~opus/racing.htm (the whole thing's terribly dated and unmaintained.)

The Interview:

You're a poster in a.a.f - do you actually own a Ferrari or are you just here for the insults?

Not yet; I am a feverish fan of the F1 team.

What do you do to scratch out a living?

Computer systems analyst, this week.

Who would play you in a movie?

Robert Downey, Jr.

What is your favourite sport?

Spectator, Auto racing; participant, sail racing.

Which team/player do you follow?

Ferrari (Prada).

What and where is your favourite Hotel

Elbow Beach, Bermuda/Nisbett Plantation, Nevis

What and where is your favourite restaurant or bar?

Babbo; the Roosevelt Hotel lobby bar, both in NYC.

Name a few of your favourite books?

Sirens of Titan, In Cold Blood, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Making of the Atomic Bomb.

Name a few of your favourite films?

2001, Catch-22, The Right Stuff, Dr. No, A Day at the Races.

What music do you listen to?

Everything but HipHop, Gangsta rap, Country, or Chinese opera.

Heaven is...?

Fine sheets, fluffy pillows and a thick comforter.

Hell is...?

...Other people.

Name four people (dead or alive) that you would like to invite to a dinner party.

Albert Einstein, J. Robert Oppenheimer, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Groucho (Julius) Marx.

If you had to get stranded in one place for the rest of your life (town, city, tropical island, whatever) where would it be?

Seems I've picked Scarsdale, NY.

Who would you take with you?

...The crew and guests of the SS Minnow.

If you there was one car or bike that you could drive just once, what would it be?

1963 Ferrari 250 GTO.

What is your secret vice?

Spice Girls songs.

What irritates you most about people?

Selfishness.

Do you know what love is?

Yes.

Is the glass half full, or half empty?

Empty; if it was half full I wouldn't have to pay to re-fill it.

What's in the glass?

Dry gin, two olives, trace quantities of dry vermouth.

What's the one thing you never leave home without?

My keys, duh...

and finally, complete the following sentence:
"Arguing in newsgroups is like..."

...."Competing in the special Olympics; even if you win, you're still a retard."