A collection of somewhat odd tales from the famed A.A.F Mansion...

Part 3: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

(in which a threat most dangerous is made)

Paul's post (content in red) replying to a post from The Funkraum (blue):

funkraum wrote:
Damn ! Damn !! Damn !!!
I knew I shouldn't have sent a Ferret to do a Weasel's job ! And I told him to use a Landrover for the reversing as well...
"MATRON ! Isn't it cocoa time yet ?!"

Paul turns to the nurse "Hmmm...Has he been doing this all night?" "Yes sir, all day. We tried the prods like you said, but he got real angry" "I don't care if he gets angry - just use the damn things!"

"QUIET Mutley ! Or I'll have Matron cut the rest of your tail off ! I > don't know what you are sniggering about - How could you miss him when he was coming straight toward you ?"

"Now what's he doing?"

"Dunno sir, It's like he just keeps talking to the bed or somethin - does it all night... crazy stuff, mostly 'bout Landrovers..."

'Acchh !

have these people any idea how long it takes to type posts with your nose...'

"Christ! is that a keyboard he's got there?!"

"Well, he told us it was fo' work and stuff, and well..."

"*he* told you?! What the hell do you mean?! I say what goes round here, not him!"

"Sorry Mr Duffin, I just thought.."

"You're not paid to think! Now get in there and take it off him!"

"MATRON!!!!!"

"I don't like to Mr Duffin, you hear him shout? You seen the look in his eyes....?"

"Oh for God's sake! I'll do it myself - get the tranquillizer gun and two cartridges"

"Can't rightly do it Sir..." "What?! What the hell do you mean?"

"Well... it's likely to kill him, state he's in."

"What do you mean? what 'state'?"

"Well, he was askin' that purdy young nurse to get him some of that Pimms last night,and uh, I think maybe he had a glass or two... maybe she did too, Nurse was in there a *mighty* long time... made some funny noises too, was a bit like, well..."

"ENOUGH! ENOUGH! I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! He's gone too far this time!, switch on his monitor screens and start playing tape 47 on a continuous loop!"

"Tape 47!? You serious, sir? that stuff's dangerous."

"Yes! Tape 47... The Jerry Springer 'Bob doesn't know that Girlfriend Sherrie is a man' show. I'll break him, you'll see!... I'll make him crawl!"

To be continued...